Many people start therapy wondering, “How do I know if this is actually helping?” While every person’s goals are different, research consistently shows that one of the strongest indicators of successful therapy is a strong therapeutic relationship along with notable, meaningful progress toward goals. Therapy doesn’t always feel good when its working, either. Often, progress can feel uncomfortable and challenging, including some feelings of awkwardness as you practice new skills.
What does it mean for therapy to be helping you? At Revidas, it means working collaboratively with your clinician to establish goals for treatment and working with a reliable clinician who will check in on these goals on a consistent basis. These check ins are important so that you can understand if there has been measurable change in your experience, with a focus on progress, not completion or perfection. Our clinicians work side by side with you in establishing these goals and are clear and communicative on the treatment plan and timelines. It is incredibly important in the therapeutic process that you know and understand what you’re working toward, and that your sessions feel purposeful in making progress toward those goals.
Therapy may be helping you if you are able to understand yourself better based on feedback or patterns shared by your clinician. For example, your therapist may help you notice that anxiety symptoms increase when sleep decreases, or that self-criticism may be tied to feelings of rejection. Therapy may also be helping if you’re finding yourself responding to situations differently between sessions than you had been before coming to therapy. For example, your therapist may be providing some grounding techniques to reduce physical symptoms of anxiety or overwhelm. They may also be providing distress tolerance skills to support navigating intense emotions between sessions. You may find yourself being able to tolerate intense emotions more than you had before. Another key way to notice if therapy is helping you is how you’ve been able to handle life’s stressors compared to before therapy. Therapy doesn’t promise that the hard things will stop happening, but it does provide the tools to be able to navigate those stressors in a manageable and effective way.
No matter the treatment goals, many evidence based studies across the industry have proven that the therapeutic alliance is a very strong, if not the strongest indicator of client progress, regardless of the type of therapy used1. Things that contribute to a strong relationship between client and therapist are:
- Feeling heard, respected, and understood
- A non-judgmental environment
- Therapist feedback provided on observed patterns
- Collaborative conversation from both client and clinician
- Client feedback being welcomed and incorporated into treatment or approach
It is entirely OK to ask yourself if you are experiencing these things with your therapist, and if not, raise your concerns to your clinician. The therapeutic relationship is one where we get to practice having difficult conversations in session where we can then improve and communicate effectively in our relationships in our lives. You get to talk to your therapist about how you’re feeling about therapy, and a good therapist will be there to listen.
Some questions you may want to ask yourself after several sessions with a consistent therapist are:
- Have I learned anything new about myself or my patterns from their feedback?
- Do I feel listened to and respected?
- Am I engaging in behaviors or feelings outside of session differently than before therapy?
- Do I understand and agree to the goals we are working toward?
- Do I feel safe enough to be completely honest with my therapist?
At Revidas, we encourage clients to discuss their goals and progress openly throughout treatment. You deserve to understand how therapy is working in your life. You also deserve to have the right therapeutic fit for you to work further toward your goals for change.
References:
- Opland C, Torrico TJ. Psychotherapy and Therapeutic Relationship. 2024 Oct 6. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2026 Jan–. PMID: 39383291.
